Nutrition Etiquette: Don’t Be That Person Who Does These Four Things.
Nutrition etiquette: you may have never heard about it, but it does exist. At least, it should.
Most likely, youโve had some of these things done to you. I hate to sound harsh here, but if you do any of the following four things, you need to be put into the penalty box!
Donโt be that person. Please, no.
Commenting on what another person is eating.
Especially to tell them what an โindulgenceโ it is.โ
OMFG nothing bothers me more than someone commenting on what Iโm eating. I actually spent years at my old job eating lunch at my desk instead of in the lunchroom, because this nosy-ass co-worker would always critique my salads. โHow do you eat that much!โ โOh my god!โ โDonโt you eat anything else but salad?โ
Dude, get over it. I like big salads. And like anyone else in the world, I just want to eat in peace without someone the running commentary about my food choices.
Look, I get it: Iโm a dietitian, and everyone looks at my plate to see if I actually eat like they think a dietitian eats.
When I do, they comment. When I donโt, they comment.
โYouโre a dietitian and youโre eating cake/pizza/fried calamari/deli meat?!?!?!?!โ
Seriously, piss off.
Iโm far from the only person this happens to. The one thing Iโve learned over the years, is that when a person feels the need to make backhanded comments about what other people are eating, those comments are actually about the person who is making them. As in, insecurities about their own food choices and their own body come out in concern trolling or snarky opinions.
Things like,
โI wish I could eat cake. Youโre so lucky!โ
โOhhhhh! Youโre eating chocolate! Youโre SO BAD!โ
โWow! You eat a lot!โ
โI thought you were on a diet?โ
โI heard that the lunchmeat youโre eating causes cancerโ
โI see youโre having fries. Iโm having a salad!โ (said with a self-righteous smirk)
These sorts of remarks are really shitty. Donโt be that person. Eyes on your own food.
The whole situation is a double edged sword. Not only is the person making the comments letting their own stuff get in the way of their happiness, the person receiving the comments gets to feel insecure, self-conscious, and shamed for their choices.
Not okay.
If you feel compelled to make these sorts of comments to others, try to look inwards at whatโs really driving you to do it.
If youโre on the receiving end of these remarks, a snappy โeyes on your own foodโ or a โwait, did I ask you to comment on what Iโm eating?โ work perfectly to shut the person up.
I sort of wish I would have said those things to my co-worker. Pfft.
Talking about how โfatโ you are.
Using โfatโ as a derogatory term is incredibly insulting to larger people.
This might be a painful reality check, but nobody wants to hear you drone on about how uncomfortable you feel in your body. Itโs boring and really – what do you want people to say?
Awkward.
If youโre feeling crap about yourself, those feelings are real and should be addressed properly. And trust me, if youโre always thinking about it, it needs fixing.
What also needs fixing is our usage of the word โfat.โ
FAT is a descriptive word for both a macronutrient thatโs damn delicious, and also a person who is in a larger body.
Somehow though, weโve gotten to this place where far too many people use the word โfatโ to connote that a person is the following:
Less than a person
Lazy
Stupid
Unattractive
Unhealthy
Unmotivated
Thatโs unacceptable.
So when you feel the need to weaponize the word โfatโ against yourself or others, please take a step back and understand what youโre really saying.
Please understand how it can wound you and also wound other people.
Besides how it sounds to everyone else, putting yourself down really does horrible things to your self-esteem. Itโs like this: if somebody tells you something over and over again, you begin to believe that itโs true, even if itโs not.
If your โtapeโ constantly plays negative shit about you all day long – and yes, many people do this without even realizing – this negative self-talk ripples out to how you feel about yourself, but also to how you treat others, how others treat you, your food choices, your moodsโฆpretty much everything in your life.
My upcoming book Good Food, Bad Diet, teaches you how to change your โtape.โ Itโs definitely a process, but a worthwhile one. I promise. You can start right this second by consciously taking notice of every single time you put yourself down.
Start right now. How many times do you actually do it, in a day?
You might be surprised to see how often it occurs, because itโs so ingrained in your brain.
Once you know that youโre doing it, itโs easier to figure out where those thoughts originated, and itโs also easier to turn them around.
Remember: if you wouldnโt say it to someone you love, then you shouldnโt be saying it yourself.
Telling people that your diet is the best.
Listen up: every diet will work for someone, but no diet works for everyone.
Spend five minutes online, and youโll see a crapload of health gurus, doctors, and random people, pontificating about how their diet is the answer to everyone elseโs issues.
This couldnโt be further from the truth, so please donโt be that person who pushes their diet onto everyone else. One of my followers posted something the other day about how some vegan people she knows are pushing her to be vegan and because she hasnโt changed her diet yet, they keep telling her sheโs โmaking excuses.โ
Gross.
We all have different lifestyles, philosophies, finances, preferences, genetics, backgrounds, living arrangements, and so much more. Just because something worked for you, doesnโt mean that itโs going to work for someone else. And hounding them to join your diet/MLM/fitspo group when they clearly donโt want to, is obnoxious.
You do your thing, let everyone else do theirs. Which brings me to the last pointโฆ
Giving out (or listening to) unqualified nutrition advice.
Just zip it and leave advice-giving to the professionals.
I hear allllll sorts of people giving out nutrition advice like itโs Halloween and theyโre giving out candy. Okay, maybe not the best analogy here, but you get what Iโm saying.
Do not tell people how and what to eat. And not because as a dietitian, Iโm afraid of โlosing business,โ as some people have implied. Seriously? Thanks for that vote of confidence, but nobody is losing any business because of someone elseโs crap advice.
You should avoid giving out unqualified advice because it can be misinformed at best, and dangerous at worst.
Hey, weโre all experts in something! Itโs also good to be an expert in staying in your lane.
And just as you shouldnโt be giving out nutrition advice if youโre not qualified (and no, having lost weight or fixed your symptoms doesnโt โqualifyโ you for anything), you shouldnโt be TAKING advice from just anyone, either.
Like your hairdresser, who lost 80 pounds eating nothing but meat. Or that person on Facebook who seems to have all the answers. Or your aunt who swears that eating coconut oil will cure whatever ails you.
Yeah, stay away from those people.
In short, there are some things that are better left unsaid..to ourselves, and to everyone else.
What is normal eating? Read more here.