Dr. Goglia would honestly have flown right under my radar, if it wasn’t for the droves of people literally begging me to review his plan. Here I was, living in my happy ignorance, completely unaware of the absolute dumpster fire that his diet, G-Plans, is.
Oh, did I ruin the surprise for you even before the review has begun? Sorry. But keep reading, because it’s entertaining AF.
Popularized by Khloe Kardashian, whose family you should never take nutrition advice from (remember Quicktrim?), Dr. Goglia is a ‘celebrity nutritionist,’ a term that always raises major red flags for me, right from the start.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a properly qualified person who calls themselves a celebrity anything, especially a ‘nutritionist.’ But that’s fine, let’s see what Goglia is all about.
Dr. Goglia is, SURPRISE! – not a medical doctor. He’s a PhD in Nutritional Science, and a ‘certified nutritionist,’ a credential that is often used to give credibility where none is due (same with a PhD calling themselves ‘doctor’ in order to sell stuff).
He was also a guest on Khloe’s grossly-named show Revenge Body, because the best way to get revenge on a bad ex is to change yourself, right?
Wait, no. That is incredibly f*cked up.
Goglia developed G-Plans, a program that’s based off of each user’s ‘metabolic type.’ Goglia has said in interviews that he doesn’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to nutrition, which is good, but what does he offer in return? A brand-new science-based way to lose weight?
G-Plans starts with a quiz to determine your metabolic type.
The G-Plans Quiz
The quiz asked me things about sleep patterns, craving types and frequency, my body shape (inverted triangle, y’all), mood, and of course, my height and weight – which is obviously the moneymaker where these questions are concerned.
It also asked me what my ideal weight is – ie, how much I’d like to lose.
And in the worst example of nutrition cluelessness, it categorizes green vegetables as ‘carbs.’ What in actual f*ck. No, really. If they don’t know what a CARB is, do you want to trust them with your health? Think about it.
In the middle of the G-Plans quiz, there were some slides to apparently bolster the plan’s credibility.
One slide claims that the program has been ‘clinically proven’ to work, with the following cited as proof:
University of Oxford – The most succesful diet is one that is personalized.
The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition – This type of macronurtient meal planning is efficient in producing real weight loss results. (Goglia’s typo, not mine)
Harvard University – Macro diets show a strong reduction in heart disease & improved memory and thinking skills.
This is all very nice, but when a diet tells us that it’s ‘clinically proven,’ I want to see the evidence. That’s not what G-Plans is showing us with the above.
The other is a diagram that seems to show that G-Plans is better and more sustainable than a restrictive diet. There’s a study cited below the graphic which I could not locate. In fact, I couldn’t find any research done on G-Plans at all.
Some of the questions on the G-Plan quiz were multiple choice and weird:
How you process food can have a tremendous impact on weight loss results. Do you experience stomach discomfort?
Like, how does my ability to ‘process food’ link with my stomach discomfort and weight loss?
And this one: Have any life events led to weight gain in the last few years? For which, ‘slower metabolism’ is a possible answer.
How does one even know if their metabolism is ‘slower’ than before?
Red flag. Having people diagnose themselves like this is exactly what G-Plans wants. You’re much more likely to convince yourself that there’s something wrong with you, and that G-Plans can fix it.
The entire quiz seems like smoke and mirrors. I’ve taken plenty of metabolic and weight loss ‘quizzes’ like this one, and they tend to spit out the exact same plan to everyone. (*ahem* Metabolic Renewal *ahem*)
Check out the screen I was shown while my results were being ‘calculated.’
‘Cholesterol, glucose, and triglyceride ratios’? What? Did I take a blood test without being notified?
‘Searching 100,000 item database’? Of what???
But made to convince you that something scientific is going on.
The G-Plans quiz determined that I’m a Carbohydrate Efficient metabolic type, meaning that I process carbs well. Thank you very much.
G-Plans also claims that I can lose 10 pounds in a month by following the G-Plan diet.
After I did the quiz, I got a fairly urgent-sounding email from the G-Plans ‘head nutritionist’ Melissa Daniels, DN. WTF is ‘DN’?
Anyhow, Melissa, who anyone can find online selling her fat loss program, told me that ‘she has to be honest, she’s a little surprised at my results.’ She then goes on to try and sell me the G-Plans program with a 50% discount! What luck!!
Obviously, the email was completely pre-fab and completely ridiculous. Who is this person?
The fear tactics that G-Plans uses to sell product are very obvious.
Here are some screenshots of my results. And yes, I am 49 years old…as of December 16th.
I’m also extremely fit, and extremely muscular.
I’m saying this because this isn’t consistent with what G-Plans has to say. Take a look:
They tell me that my BMI isn’t normal. This is false.
They tell me that my ‘metabolic age’ is higher than my chronological age. This isn’t a thing. And if it is, they don’t have nearly enough information to make that determination.
But I have a HIGH compatibility with G-Plans? Oh my god! You don’t say.
It’s also revealed that I seem to have ‘low caloric heat,’ which, well….means absolutely f*ck all. There’s no such thing as low caloric heat, but it’s framed to appear as though it’s a problem…that G-Plans can solve!
Red flag. Tell me that I have a problem I didn’t know about, then sell me the solution. Classic.
G-Plans then applies the time-crunch sales technique (marketing 101) to make me believe that I’m getting a very time-sensitive DEAL. I only have 14 minutes and 34 seconds to buy the G-Plans diet for $39, otherwise the price goes up to $658!!
OMG! ACT FAST!!!!
Luckily, a follower of mine, Laura Ip – who’s a personal trainer and founder of Underdogs Boxing Gym – actually signed up for G-Plans (hopefully she didn’t release the Kraken by doing that) and sent me all of the content – including the EXACT SAME EMAIL from our friend Melissa!
Shockingly, Melissa was surprised at Laura’s results, too! Wow! I never saw that coming!
According to G-Plans, Laura is a ‘Fat Protein Efficient’ metabolic type, which is different than my ‘Carbohydrate Efficient’ type…but let’s assume that all of the G Plans meal plans are roughly comparable.
With G-Plans, You get a meal plan with three meals and three snacks a day. Each meal and snack has very specific amounts – you’ll be doing a lot of measuring and weighing. You’ll also track all of your food with their app.
At the end of each week, you do your measurements, which then result in a new plan to follow.
You get one cheat meal a week. Dairy is eliminated completely, probably because it’s ‘inflammatory,’ which is IS NOT.
The G-Plan diet is macros-based. Here are a few pages of G-Plans meal plans. Nothing special. Each day appeared to be around 1500 calories, give or take. I’m assuming, maybe incorrectly, that each week will be adjusted in calories according to how much weight you’re losing. Got to stay on track for that 10 pounds in a month loss!
Also, note the ‘metabolic temperature’ metric. What a gimmick.
As you can see, the meals on Laura’s plan seem to be low-carb and moderate calorie. They didn’t seem that different from any sort of ‘healthy’ meal, but the snacks…different story.
You’ll see here that one of Laura’s snacks was watermelon with hemp protein powder. Whaaaa?
Another one was grapes with brown rice protein powder. Excuse me?
Are we supposed to eat – and not gag on – raw protein powder and fruit? That’s disgusting, in several different ways.
Besides the fact that these plans obviously aren’t well-thought out, my issue with meal plans in general is that they’re often restrictive and unsustainable. Sure, you can swap meals and snacks if the ones on your G-Plans diet don’t work for you, but in the end, do you really think you’re going to be able to follow these plans forever?
When you follow a meal plan, you cut out all of the other food that you would otherwise eat except for the food that’s prescribed that can automatically result in lower calories being consumed. So yeah, you might lose weight…temporarily.
But what exactly does a the G-Plans diet teach you in terms of self-management of food choices and your relationship with food?
In addition to this, the concept of ‘cheat days’ is completely outdated. The word ‘cheat’ is never used in a positive way; ‘cheating’ on your diet throws you into that good versus bad mindset that can easily destroy your relationship with food.
If you have to cheat on your diet, you’re on the wrong diet.
Of course, there’s a line of G-Plans supplements that go with the program. They include something called L.E.A.N., which is a ‘fat burning matrix’ aka fat burner for ‘easier weight loss, faster fat burning, and more energy’…or at least, that’s what G-Plans tells us.
“Our most popular blend ever at G-Plans – LEAN is designed to speed up fat-burning, and we’ve seen G-Plans users get an average of 2.7x faster results when they add LEAN to their routine.”
What’s most concerning is that LEAN doesn’t list its ingredients on the G-Plans site. It’s just some nebulous ‘proprietary blend.’ WTF.
Um, G-Plans, you didn’t finish your sentence there….nice copyediting! Also, I want to see that ‘research.’
Sadly, though, it’s ‘unavailable.’ It’s probably because niacin aka vitamin B-3 doesn’t ‘blast fats’ (and nobody is deficient in niacin, anyhow).
There’s a mood supplement, and G-Plans thought it would be great to put this review of it on its site:
Oh! Very responsible, implying that Total Soothe is better than anxiety medication. Yipes. Red flag.
G-Plans also sells a supplement for energy, and at this point I noticed that ‘Robert,’ who left a glowing review about how he apparently loves ‘Clean Energy’ in his morning routine, seems to also love ‘LEAN’ in his morning routine.
Check it out:
Either ‘Robert’ has a lot of ‘morning secrets,’ or this sh*t is fake AF. You decide.
I. JUST. F*CKING. CAN’T. WITH. THIS.
On their site, G-Plans shows a graph comparing their supplements to the ‘drugstore brand’ and ‘trendy brand.’ What the graphic implies is that other brands of supplements contain ‘drugs’ and are ‘habit-forming,’ aren’t safe to use, and that they aren’t ‘natural.’
All of this is garbage, of course, and appears to be just another way that G-Plans uses fear to sell its product and make people believe that it’s superior to other diets.
The exercises are also designed for your metabolic profile. There is no evidence that this sort of thing is beneficial or even exists.
Just an FYI.
G-Plans review, in short:
There really is no such thing as a metabolic typing. This is a marketing scheme to sell you what you think is a personalized plan. but is in fact just a low calorie diet and supplements.
I don’t care how badly you want to lose weight; going on a restrictive diet that causes weight loss and then regain is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.
Especially when it’s served with a side of grift. Not naming names here, of course.
The G-Plans diet has a ton of red flags:
A premise – metabolic type – that isn’t actually a thing.
If the entire basis of a diet is garbage science, why trust anything else about it?
Huge upsells. I mean, G-Plan rivals VShred for the spammy upsell techniques they use. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with this, but it’s just gross and seems desperate.
Never mind that when Laura tried to cancel her membership, she got a million ‘are you suuuuuuuuure you want to cancel?’ messages. Gross.
Meal plans that are specific and limiting.
Nobody follows meal plans forever, and they don’t teach you how to self-manage your food intake. You’ll likely gain weight back when you stop following them.
G-Plans lists Trustpilot and the Better Business Bureau on its site, like it has such great ratings with these companies.
Yeah, nope. Maybe they thought that nobody would check?
The Trustpilot one isn’t bad, but it’s not the 4.8 stars that G-Plans claims to have.
Promise of massive weight loss in a certain amount of time.
This is ridiculous. Losing 10lb in one month is a dangerous amount of weight for someone like me to lose, physically and emotionally. These sorts of promises are also absurd – nobody knows how a person’s body will respond to an eating plan.
I mean, the fact that they tried to tell me that I’m overweight and old for my age is incredibly f*cked up. And that everyone gets a form letter from the ‘concerned’ nutritionist. They also tried to diagnose me with a condition that doesn’t exist. None of this is okay. None of it.
Fat burner supplements.
It goes without saying, that any company selling fat burners should be ignored. These don’t work, they never have, and they show me that the company has a distinct disregard for science.
G-Plans seems to be one big marketing scheme. Sure, you might lose weight, but at what cost, and for how long?
What is being told that you have some weird condition, going to do to your psychological health?
Is following meal plans and weighing out your food and eating celery with raw protein powder going to make you happy?
Maybe it’s time to start questioning and calling out these companies who are making so many big promises and telling you that you’re broken.
Celebrities may love Dr. Goglia, but celebrities aren’t known for their healthy relationships with food and their bodies.