The Sirtfood Diet: ‘Celebrity Nutritionists’ Just Need to Stop Now.

The Sirtfood Diet: ‘Celebrity Nutritionists’ Just Need to Stop Now.

Any time a celebrity loses weight on a new diet, you can bet that the media will lose its shit. Hence, all of the noise about the Sirtfood Diet, which apparently is how Adele lost a huge amount of weight (and ended up in the media in a bikini, frolicking on a beach with Harry Styles ..the media couldn’t decide which was more compelling: Adele’s weight loss or the fact that she and Harry are quite possibly an item). 

It really makes me want to hurl when people see someone who has lost weight and are all like, ‘she looks so good now!!’

Seriously? Let’s STOP ogling and commenting on other peoples’ bodies. It’s so disgusting. Also: weight loss isn’t always a good thing.

 

The Sirtfood Diet – and yes, I hate the name, too – is the brainchild of two ‘nutrition experts’, Glen Matten and Aidan Goggins. The awkward AF name comes from the word ‘sirtuins,’ which are proteins that activate the SIRT1 gene, thought to be responsible for aging, cellular health, and metabolism. Matten and Goggins believe that eating foods that ‘switch on’ the SIRT1 gene – aka the ‘skinny gene,’ excuse me while I barf – can lead to weight loss without restriction. 

As they put it, this diet will ’supercharge weight loss!’ 

All you have to do is eat the right foods! Even red wine and chocolate!

Wow! What a novel concept! Eating certain foods in certain amounts will help you lose weight? We never knew that! 

 

The claims.

Apparently these two guys did a study on Sirtfoods in 2015 that showed a 7 pound weight loss in one week, in the 39 subjects they recruited from their gym. But for the life of me, I can’t locate the fucking study. It’s a myth to me until I actually see the thing so I can critique..er, assess the methodology. 

Chances are it sucked hard, because that study isn’t exactly peer-reviewed and published in any conspicuous place. Still, these ‘celebrity nutritionists’ think it legitimizes their diet. Typical.

You can probably already tell what I think about the Sirtfood Diet, but keep reading. I’m salty AF today. 

 

On the Sirtfood site, the authors claim that:

Their diet will stop you from yo-yo dieting. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *takes breath* HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!! That’s a good one!

“There is growing evidence that sirtuin activators may have a wide range of health benefits as well as building muscle and suppressing appetite. These include improving memory, helping the body better control blood sugar levels and cleaning up the damage from free radical molecules that can accumulate in cells and lead to cancer and other diseases.”

Beware of the ‘growing evidence’ claim, because it means, ‘every bit of evidence for this thing is either in lab dishes or animals, and really, this statement means nothing but we’re trying to pretend that it does and hoping the average person won’t clue in.’

They claim that polyphenols, which are an antioxidant found in red wine and chocolate, burn fat and help clear cellular waste. Pffft. NO. 

They also claim that participants in their piss-poor study that nobody has seen actually lost weight and gained muscle, all due to Sirtfoods. 

Except that’s bullshit, and you’ll see why in a second.

Nothing these guys claim the diet can do has been tested in humans or is even legit in terms of physiology.

I don’t mean to be a bitch, but this is exactly what I’d expect from two ‘celebrity nutritionists’ who think wine burns fat. Sorry! Not sorry!

 

The diet

On Sirtfood, you’ll be choking down a green juice 1-3 times a day, and eating meals based on around 20 Sirtfoods, including fruits, greens, olive oil, buckwheat, matcha, and lovage. There are lots of plants, so that’s one good thing about this diet. 

That’s basically the only good thing.

The diet runs in two phases, and I have to say that any diet with phases to me is a red flag right off the bat. You should never have to cut calories super low or ‘ease into’ a way of eating in strictly timed phases. That’s a recipe for disaster that usually ends up in hunger, compensatory eating, and you feeling like shit physically and emotionally.

 

Phase one is starvation.

They don’t call it that, but I do. It’s a week of 1000 calories a day: green juice and one meal daily. The meals are gorgeous – lots of plants, protein, and whole grains – but still. It’s a crappy starvation diet that doesn’t do anything good for anyone, EVER. EVER. EVER. What exactly is the point of starving yourself? To lose as much weight as possible so you’re encouraged to continue on a diet? Jeesh. Not okay.

Vigorous exercise is not recommended in this phase. I wonder why.

Phase two is starvation, part two.

For this 14-day ‘maintenance’ phase, you increase your calories to 1500 a day. You’re still drinking that green juice, too. Git it, girl!

 

There is nothing after phase two. You’re on your own with your Sirtfoods!

It’s as if someone invented this eating plan and then had a tantrum and gave up after starving for three weeks. 

The only follow-up the diet offers is to keep eating your Sirtfoods. 

Thanks, that’s so helpful. 

Of course, you could buy one of the many Sirtfood books the authors have on the Sirtfood site – there’s even a Sirtfood soup cookbook! Perfect for your starvation phases!  I’m sure it would give you lots of Sirtfood recipes that would be oh so helpful to your continuing Sirtfood journey.  

Mark my words, in the next 6-12 months these guys are coming out with a supplement and Sirtfood food product line. 1000%.

 

In Short?

People lose weight on Sirtfood because first they starve, then they’re following a diet that cuts out most processed foods and limits portions. It’s not rocket science. Adele probably has a chef and a trainer who have helped her on her journey, and we have no clue what she’s actually eating and in what amount. It might also be incredibly unhealthy for her, physically and emotionally. So don’t look to somebody you don’t know – especially a celebrity – as an example.

There’s no ‘skinny gene,’ and we need to stop trying to make it a thing. It’s not a thing. 

This diet works in the same exact way every other diet does: it cuts calories. Sirtfoods don’t do a thing for weight.

The Sirtfood Diet is garbage that appears to be written by two toddlers with limited understanding of science and a big understanding of selling bullshit to make money. 

Don’t go near it.