It’s Okay to Want to Lose Weight: An RD’s Perspective on Weight Loss
Note: This blog describes my position on weight loss for people who do not have and have never had disordered eating or eating disorders.ย
I love the concept of body-positivity. I think itโs fantastic that our culture is becoming more inclusive. Every body is beautiful. Every single one.
I donโt think that people in larger bodies should be shamed or made to feel bad about their size. I believe that they should be able to rock the same clothes as people who wear a size 4; that they deserve the same caliber of medical care as smaller-sized individuals; that itโs disgusting when fat people are stared at, commented to, and treated like second-class citizens. That should never happen.ย
I also hate diet culture. Thereโs a systemic issue in our society that we glorify restrictive diets, weight loss, and thinness, and portray fatness as flawed, lazy, and unintelligent.ย
That is so very wrong.ย
It’s Ok To Want To Lose Weight
But I also believe that itโs okay to want to lose weight.ย
And I donโt believe for one second that โdiet cultureโ has to be a part of that.
Before I go any further, I want to draw the distinction between natural body size and the size you are because you havenโt been nourishing yourself properly.
Itโs physically and emotionally harmful to strive for an unrealistic weight thatโs outside of your natural size, and thereโs no shortage of people out there with unrealistic weight goals. But thatโs not what this article is about. Itโs about when a person has gained weight and wants to lose that weight. Realistically. Healthily. With a dietitianโs guidance.
Intuitive Eating vs a Diet
There is a huge trend inside and outside of our profession that promotes Intuitive Eating, a tenet of which is that intentional weight loss is harmful and a submission to diet culture. IE has some valuable concepts that I use with clients. and while itย may help some people, it doesnโt work for everyone.
Some people need more structure. Some people aren’t comfortable with the tenets of IE. I also think IE can be rigid in its permissiveness. Eat what you crave, but donโt you dare desire weight loss. Do this, but never do that. You canโt love and respect your body and still want to lose weight.
I donโt agree.
Thereโs a middle ground somewhere between IE and restrictive diets, and I think I tread it. Yes, I have and will continue to call out shitty, harmful diets and diet culture. But some people aren’t interested in those things. They just want to lose weight.
I believe that wanting to lose weight isn’t shameful or wrong. Different people want different things, and that’s natural. Any eating plan that declares itself ‘the answer’ to everyone’s eating issues is obviously a problem. You can’t be everything to everyone. Sorry.
A few weeks back, an RD on Twitter who practices IE told me that all motivation for intentional weight loss falls under three categories:
A desire for control
A desire for acceptance
A desire for punishment
When I asked the same dietitian what sheโd do if she gained 300 pounds, she didnโt have an answer for me.
Shocking.
And while those beliefs might have been uniquely hers, thereโs a feeling among IE followers that people who want weight loss simply need to โaddress their barriersโ to figure out why they want to lose weight and canโt just live happily in their bodies.
But sometimes itโs not about someoneโs โbarriers to body acceptance.โ Sometimes itโs about โmy jeans feel tight and Iโm out of breath and I want to lose weight.โ
And thatโs okay.
Beauty standards in our society extend beyond weight. How many of us get Botox? Dye our hair? Whiten our teeth? Isnโt that the same thing? Are those wrong, too?
Most RDs are privileged, myself included: young, slim, white, and presumably healthy. And while Iโm sure we all empathize with their clients, itโs hard to overstate our position of privilege. And even when we recognize our privilege, how many of us against weight loss have ever been obese or have suffered from obesity-related conditions?ย
People need a choice of treatments or theyโll resort to unqualified โnutritionistsโ and woo woo craziness to get the results they want. Some people like to weigh themselves. Some like to count things. Some want to ignore weight altogether. Fine.ย
Although some believe that weight and health arenโt linked, I firmly believe that they are. Sure, the research studies may not be able to pinpoint weight as a cause for disease, but where thereโs smoke, thereโs fire. Yes, you can be fat – or thin – and at the same time be metabolically healthy. But thatโs not always the case.
If someone with realistic expectations wants to lose weight because theyโve gained pounds and donโt like the way they look and feel, why would I ever tell them theyโre wrong for wanting that?
I believe that everyone has the right to decide what size body they want to live in. People who want to lose weight need to be listened to, not saved from themselves.ย
In appropriate cases, weight loss can be achieved safely and with minimal disruption to your life.
Iโve been there. Having eaten to the point where I was at a size that is officially categorized as overweight, I can tell you that it didnโt feel good. I was tired. I didnโt have endurance to do the things I liked to do. I certainly wasnโt metabolically healthy.ย
And you know what? I didnโt like the way I looked. Why is that a bad thing? Am I a horrible person because I hate the feeling of when my jeans donโt fit me anymore?
I changed my diet. I started working out. And yes, I lost weight. Intentionally.ย
For the long term. And here I am today.ย
Iโm a dietitian. I help people lose weight.ย
I donโt put people on diets. I never weigh people. A huge part of my treatment is uncovering the underlying, often complex psychological causes of their overeating and ensuring they get counselling for those.ย
And let it be known that for not one fucking second do I believe that every desire for weight loss comes from a negative place of control, acceptance, or punishment.ย
As dietitians, itโs our right to practice in a way that we see fit. We all have the best intentions for our clients. This is my way, and Iโll continue to support my clients to help them achieve their goals and live their best life.ย