2017 was sort of a dumpster fire in terms of food and nutrition trends. Unicorn Frappuccinos? Rainbow bagels? Black ice cream and ‘detoxing’ charcoal lemonade? Gross. In an ironic twist, there was a huge push for ‘self-care’, even though diets that shame people into losing weight seemed to only gain momentum. What’s up with that? Note: caring for yourself never includes feeling guilty about what you eat, how you look, and who you are. PERIOD.

There were some good things that happened in food and nutrition in 2017, though. More plant-based options – like vegan ‘burgers’ that bleed (although very expensive and hard to find, it’s a start), and more awareness (I think) about the uselessness of cleanses and detoxes. It also seemed like we’ve backed away a bit from kale in EVERYTHING, as well as the concept of one single food being our health saviour, which I consider to be a plus. Kale cookies were just too far, people. Too far.

We should continue to remind ourselves that one ingredient isn’t going to make or break our diets or our health. It’s a global approach to how you live, that does. And that being said, these ten trends are the antithesis of healthy – either physically, and/or psychologically, and I want to see them gone in 2018:

Charcoal food

Charcoal is good for a few things. It’s good for BBQing. It’s good for when you poison yourself, and you’re rushed to the ER in life-threatening shape. What it’s not good for: detoxing.

You don’t need a detox, that’s first and foremost. If you eat like crap, change your diet, but don’t expect that charcoal is going to have a positive impact on your health. Taken for a ‘cleanse’, charcoal can actually bind your important medications (like birth control), cause a blockage in your gut, and at the very least, it’s a waste of your money. As far as charcoal containing food like crackers, pizza crust, lemonade, ice cream, etc: They’re pretty, but useless health-wise. If you want to eat black ice cream, go right ahead, but do it because it looks cool and not for health.

Clean eating

This elitist, meaningless phrase has got to go. It’s used everywhere, but it has never actually been officially defined. My problem with ‘clean eating’ is not the diet that it’s associated with – usually full of whole and minimally processed foods – it’s what it implies, which is that food is either clean or dirty. If you ‘eat clean’, you’re virtuous. If you don’t, you’re somehow a failure. Seeing as ‘clean’ foods are usually fairly costly (more than, say, ‘dirty’ ultra-processed ones), does this mean that those who can’t afford them are not clean? Not virtuous? Not trying? Not healthy? Think about it. Food shouldn’t be about judgement and morality, it should be about nourishing yourself to the best of your abilities.

You do you. Don’t be judgemental, and please stop saying that you’re ‘eating clean’, because nobody understands what that means in terms of your diet, except for you.

Zoodles and other vegetable noodles as pasta

You all know already that vegetables aren’t pasta. If you’re trying to cut down your carbs, good for you – I think most people eat too many of them anyhow, and I’m a big advocate for a lower (read: not very low) carb diet – but I’m really over vegetables that attempt to masquerade as pasta. Throwing a bunch of sauce on spiralized zucchini (or spaghetti squash) isn’t fooling anyone.

My issue is, why are we so afraid of real pasta? There’s nothing wrong with carbohydrate, AHHHHH let’s stop the carb-phobia already!!

We don’t have to pretend that vegetables are pasta; we can have the actual pasta and just eat less of it. Wouldn’t you rather do that instead of eating zucchini with tomato sauce on it? Of course I’m going to get people commenting on this saying that they enjoy zoodles more than regular pasta, but for the rest of you – eat pasta. Eat less. Enjoy every bite. Move on.

Diets that shame – Whole30

Whole30 continues to be super popular, and while it does have some plusses – wait a minute while I figure out what those could be….I really take issue with the shaming aspect of the diet. I’m definitely not into the ‘tough love’ attitude that this diet has (read more about how I feel about Whole30 here), and the morality judgements that it makes. I also don’t like how it doesn’t support plant-based eating beyond a certain point, and I’m certainly not supportive of the shabby ‘science’ that the diet is based on. Written by two people who have questionable nutrition credentials and a penchant for bullshit, this diet and all other diets that make people feel bad about themselves need to go away.

Smoothie and acai bowls

This one seems to be on the wane anyhow, but I wanted to throw my support behind that fact by saying that smoothie bowls are not only gross – who eats a smoothie in a bowl with a spoon, and let’s all admit right now that acai tastes like dirt – they also tend to be sugar bombs that promote the consumption of a crazy amount of fruit – and sugar – at one time. Even though it’s ‘natural’ fruit sugar, it’s still not healthy to take in that much of it, especially in one meal. Smoothie bowls are pretty to look at, but that’s what your Instagram feed is for. Pass.

Celebrity nutrition advice 

The only good thing about Goop is that it has been widely exposed and criticized for doling out bullshit. This shows the potential harm of celebrities and their alternative, non-science-based ‘gurus’ giving health and nutrition advice – even when the advice is done up on a fancy website and passed out by ‘MDs’. Yet, people continue to buy into all of the nonsense. I understand that many of you are disenchanted with mainstream medicine and nutrition, but travelling to the exact opposite of the spectrum to take the advice of people who are spouting complete and utter nonsense isn’t helping you either. Promise me that in 2018, you’ll start to question who and where you get your health and nutrition information from. It’s okay to be critical, and you absolutely should ask questions instead of just blindly following someone’s advice because everybody else is doing it. Don’t just assume if someone has a medical degree or some other ‘official’ sounding certification, that what they’re saying is legit. Okay? Promise?

Health halos on unhealthy foods

It started with ‘low fat’, then ‘organic’. Now, it’s ‘gluten free’; ‘natural’; ‘sugar free’; ‘coconut oil’; ‘high protein’ and whatever else. What the hell – seriously? It’s all marketing, people. Some of these products may be healthy-er for you, but many of them are still junk.

I’m going to call out Quest bars as the perfect example of this, because they taste like death, they’re pretty much ‘free’ of everything except for sweeteners and fake chocolate chips, and there are not, by any stretch of the imagination, healthy. Still, they’re widely consumed for what they DON’T have in them and, they’re marketed as being healthy. The trouble is, just because something has no gluten, low carbs, high protein, doesn’t instantly make it ‘healthy’.

I know you have good intentions when you buy products you think are good for you, but please understand that you probably don’t need all those ‘free of’ foods. More importantly, it’s better to consider what a food has in it, not just what it doesn’t.

Alkaline/acid diets and ‘alkalizing’ powders and waters

I’m starting to think that the acid/alkaline diet will never go away. Yes, most ‘alkaline’ foods are healthy, and it’s not that concept that I’m against. It’s the special, mostly expensive foods and supplements and waters that claim to ‘alkalize’ your body that I really never want to see again. You see, what we eat doesn’t in any way, shape, or form affect our blood pH. That’s tightly regulated by our lungs, kidneys, and buffer system. The ‘science’ behind the acid/alkaline diet and all the products doesn’t exist, no matter what scam-artist doctor promises you that it does. Don’t waste your money.

Instagram #fitspo

It enrages me when I log onto Instagram and see photos of people who appear unhealthy – and by that, I mean strikingly underweight – showing themselves off in half-naked photos that are hash tagged ‘fitspo’ (among others). They shouldn’t be inspiration for anyone, and saying that they got that way from a healthy diet and exercise routine is not okay; it’s an illusion. I know I’m going to catch flak for this, but it must be said: No, I don’t know everyone’s backstory and yes, maybe they’re actually healthy and just severely underweight-looking. But the more likely story is that they’re NOT being honest with their followers, and they’re establishing an unreachable, untruthful precedent for people who actually want to be healthy and fit, along with a culture of ‘No Pain, No Gain’, and ‘If you can’t look like this, you’re WEAK.’ Shaming people into losing weight is never cool (as mentioned above with Whole30).  This study suggests that it’s attractiveness, and not fitness, that #fitspo actually emphasizes. Say what you want, but I want to see #fitspo disappear.

Nice cream

Please stop pureeing bananas and comparing it to ice cream. It’s neither ‘nice’ nor is it ‘cream’, and unlike actual ice cream (or even vegan ice cream), it tastes like bananas no matter what you add to it. Go away, ‘nice cream’. YUCK.

Which food and nutrition trends do you want to disappear in 2018? Which ones do you want to stay? Let me know in the comments below!