I’ve already reviewed the Slimroast ‘weight loss coffee’, much to the irritation of the Slimroast company and salespeople, who have sent me many thinly-veiled (and outright obvious, and many times hilarious) threats since I published that review (read it here). They’ve tried to accuse me of libel and professional misconduct, which is nuts. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my rockstar lawyer who reviews all my posts. This Slimroast Optimum review has been checked and re-checked by him.

The truth is that blog posts are not scientific papers, they’re opinion pieces. 

So even though some of you might be aggravated about me telling you that the supplement you’re selling and/or taking is not legit, it’s my professional opinion. I also see it as my job to let the public know when they’re being sold a nutrition product whose claims aren’t consistent with science. If you don’t like my posts, that’s okay. Just move right along, then. 

For those of you who spit at me that I don’t try anything I review so how do I know it works, I say: I don’t have to try anything I review, because 1. If I’m going to put crap into my body, it’s going to be cake and Doritos, not some random supplement and 2. I’m assessing the claims that are made about the supplement/diet against the most recent science. I’m looking at the ingredients in the supplement and seeing if they’re efficacious (I know, big word, but stay with me here) and safe for you. You’re welcome. Just doing my job, people. 

So, even though I’m anticipating the same amount of vitriolic hate mail for doing this, I’m all ready to do my Slimroast Optimum review. Slimroast Optimum is Slimroast’s latest offering. I guess when the original Slimroast doesn’t work, you can always upgrade, right? As Slimroast says, ‘Slimroast Optimum is designed to take your weight management to the next level!’ 

Wow, exciting! Let’s do this!

What does Slimroast Optimum Claim?

Slimroast Optimum claims that it’s an ‘exclusive functional coffee’ formulated to:

• Crush Cravings

• Increase Energy

• Metabolize fat to Energy

• Help Regulate Blood Sugar

• Improve Mood & Focus

• Boosts Circulation and Oxygen delivery

We will see, Slimroast. We will see.

The company describes Optimum like this:

SlimROAST Optimum Neurologic system for Optimum Performance cannot be accomplished with a single nutrient, it requires a “stack” (or group) of several independently performing nutrients working together. To deliver this stack to the right places in the brain, circulatory support nutrients that promote nitric oxide production and circulation (via vasodilation) is essential to optimize nutrient potential.

Formulated with natural appetite suppressants, feel good ingredients and detox components and powered by VASO6™ a Nitric Oxide, Antioxidant Booster for Optimum Circulation & Oxygen delivery. SlimROAST Optimum is the perfect addition to your weight loss management program!

While supplement/nutrient ‘stacks’ are a thing generally utilized by weightlifters, they lost me at the word ‘detox’. That’s a huge red flag for me, and it should be for you, too: By now, you should know that detoxing is a scam.  When a company sees no problem with promoting ‘detox’ products, I immediately know that their moral compass is off.

The ‘stack’ being ‘delivered to the right places in the brain’ is also a absurd concept, because that’s what your vascular system does all on its own. Nitric oxide is a vasodilator, and so is caffeine, but saying that these ingredients deliver Optimum’s nutrients as though they’re the UPS man delivering a package to the right address is an extreme simplification of basic physiology. Essentially, they’re claiming that their supplement is doing things that your body does anyhow. You probably don’t have a neurological issue that’s preventing you from getting the nutrients you need in your brain, just in case you were wondering. ‘Neurologic system’, pfffft. Come on.

What is Slimroast Optimum?

Slimroast Optimum appears to be the same coffee-like drink as its predecessor, plain old Slimroast. 

The difference is that Optimum has extra ingredients, the most important ones to note being 2-amino-5-methylheptane and beta-phenylethylamine. The usual suspects are in there too, like caffeine and some amino acids such as carnitine (maybe for its minor effects on blood glucose) and L-Theanine (which has been known to ‘take the edge off’ stimulant jitters…good thing, you’re going to need it). 

The dose for Slimroast Optimum is 1-2 scoops a day, and I suppose how much you consume all depends on your tolerance for stimulants. 

There are a few troubling things about this product, the first being that there’s no disclosure about how much of each ingredient the product contains. Does it contain 127mg of caffeine just like the regular Slimroast product? Or, does it contain five times that? It’s a mystery, shrouded in the typical ‘proprietary recipe’ claim. 

The ingredient 2-amino-5-methylheptane, otherwise known as English walnut, is a natural compound that’s identical (or as Slimroast puts it, ‘nature identical synthesis) to octodrine. Octodrine, otherwise known as DMHA, is a stimulant that has been determined to be potentially unsafe. The fact that Slimroast Optimum uses a ‘natural’ form of it but then specifies that it’s ‘identical’ to the synthetic type further indicates to me that natural or not, this ingredient probably shouldn’t be consumed blindly and/or with other stimulants. On top of that, nobody knows how much 2-amino-5-methylheptane is even in the product, so it’s a wild card. Ready to take that gamble? I sure as hell wouldn’t be.

The other ingredient in Slimroast Optimum that I want to discuss is beta-phenylethylamine. Although long-used as a stimulant in weight weight loss drugs and also known as PEA, there is no human research proving that it promotes weight loss. It has been known to decrease appetite, but it’s unclear how much and for how long. Let’s also remember that thanks to secretive proprietary mixtures, we have zero clues as to how much beta-phenylethylamine is actually in Slimroast Optimum. One thing that we do know about beta-phenylethylamine is that it’s metabolized very rapidly by the body, which is not what you want in a weight loss drug. Fast metabolism means it’s out of your system in a matter of minutes, which means that its effectiveness for weight loss is questionable. And while PEA is a neurotransmitter that’s found in the human body under normal circumstances, this doesn’t mean that it’s effective to take more of it, just so you can lose weight. 

Natural doesn’t always mean safe, and more isn’t always better. Repeat that again and again so you never forget it!

So at this point, we have an ingredient that’s potentially harmful and a stimulant, caffeine, which is also a stimulant, and another ingredient, also a stimulant, whose effectiveness is questionable. We don’t have any verifiable information about the actual amounts or effectiveness of these ingredients together (or, about the product itself, by the way). 

The other ingredients, Alpha glycerylphosphorylcholine, green tea catechins, and chromium, have limited to no evidence for weight loss. Alpha glycerylphosphorylcholine is mostly used as a cognitive supplement, but in large doses (again, we have no idea how much is in Optimum); green tea catechins have been known to increase fat burning, but very minimally, and only in very high doses. Optimum uses green tea catechins as its ‘VASO6tm Nitric Oxide, Antioxidant Booster’. Since catechins are only known to increase blood flow in a minor fashion, I’m not sure what they’re getting at here. Chromium is in pretty much every weight loss supplement, and while it can regulate insulin levels, this only occurs in people who have a chromium deficiency. Chromium has been implicated in studies (and here) (and here) for reducing cravings and appetite, but most of these were inconclusive or poorly done. 

Let’s Put it Together

As far as Slimroast Optimum’s claims, let’s address them with what we now know:

• Crush Cravings: Caffeine is known to decrease appetite, and perhaps the chromium will have some effect. Probably not though. 

• Increase Energy: Most definitely, if you’re ramming this many stimulants into your body, most people will be amped.

• Metabolize fat to energy: Not a single bit of evidence that this will occur. None of the ingredients in Slimroast Optimum has been proven to affect which macronutrient your body uses for energy. The ketogenic diet is the only way to ensure that fat is used as your primary source of energy. 

• Help Regulate Blood Sugar: I’m not sure how this would happen unless you’re chromium deficient, which isn’t common.

• Improve Mood & Focus: One of the hypothetical effects of beta-phenylethylamine is improved mood, but remember that this ingredient is metabolized so quickly, it’s likely any of its perceived effects will occur with Slimroast Optimum. Caffeine, on the other hand, can improve focus. 

• Boosts Circulation and Oxygen delivery: Coffee improves blood flow significantly, so this is correct. How it affects your actual weight loss, though, is unknown.

Testimonials and Marketing

Remember that Slimroast products are sold by MLM, which means that any ‘testimonials’ you read on Facebook (yes, for this Slimroast Optimum reivew, I creeped on the Optimum page for as long as I could possibly stand it, which was not very long) may be biased. Some are probably legit, but honestly, a lot of them read like they were written by salespeople trying to convince potential buyers of how magical this product is. 

As a reader said to me: “The whole thing reeks of your 15 extra lbs are the result of a neurological disorder that we can treat with our product.”

I have to agree with her. 

Slimroast states that Optimum is ‘your logical solution to weight management’. I’ll have to disagree, because…wait for it….IF IT WORKED, NO ONE WOULD BE OVERWEIGHT EVER AGAIN!! So logic has nothing to do with it. 

Logically, Valentus would have done some research on its products to prove that their ingredients synergistically promote weight loss, since that’s what they’re claiming. But nope.

Weight management is far more complex than drinking a cup of weight loss coffee and watching the pounds just melt right off. The Slimroast website states:

Let’s keep this simple. Your weight management is effected (their typo, not mine) by three things:

What you put into our body

How active you are

Do you have willpower to say no. 

If weight loss was this simple, no one would need Slimroast! The truth is that willpower is bullshit and in most cases, weight management is not just about ‘eat less and exercise more’. It’s so disengenuous that on one page of their site, they appear to be commiserating about how tough it is to lose weight, but then they turn around and talk about how you have no willpower. Way to blame people for their weight issues, Slimroast, but I guess that’s how to guilt people in to buying your product. 

If you’re a chronic dieter reading this right now, understand that I’m actually on your side. I’m not shitting on Slimroast because I think it’s funny, or because I want you to be upset; I’m doing it because I find their tactics objectionable, and I wish that you and the rest of the world didn’t have to be subjected to it from them, or from anyone else.

Many times, an individual taking these sorts of products also changes their eating and exercise habits, but attributes weight loss to the supplement. We don’t know if this product works, and I definitely don’t recommend believing testimonials that may be biased (as all testimonials may be). Too bad Valentus doesn’t research the efficacy of its own products, but maybe that’s for good reason, if you know what I mean. 

Stimulants are historically a bad way to lose weight, mostly because the body tends to adapt to them and, once you stop using them the weight returns quickly. Are you ready to take Slimroast for the rest of your life?

From a marketing perspective, Slimroast Optimum seems to play on peoples’ desperation. The website is riddled with grammatical errors, which is another red flag. The seemingly chronic oversimplification of weight loss and gain is eye-watering, and they appear to continue to sell unproven products that they don’t bother to do research on. I mean, this company also sells PrevailMaX, a completely idiotic spray of ‘molecularly charged’ micronutrients that you get in your diet anyhow, and uses the completely and thoroughly debunked and invalid practice of blood microscopy to ‘back up’ its claims for the product. Your blood cells don’t need special ‘molecularly charged’ micronutrients, whose amounts in PrevailMAX are so tiny, they won’t even register on the nutrient label. I literally can not believe that Valentus is allowed to sell this product. 

The Verdict on Slimroast Optimum?

Hard pass. Don’t buy products from a company that tells you that weight loss is hard, but then turns around and says you have no willpower and that’s why you’re overweight. That’s untrue and shitty. If you want to read something about how willpower has nothing to do with weight loss, here’s a piece I wrote on it. 

Don’t fall for Slimroast’s marketing. This is just another unproven weight loss product. Remember: if it worked, the weight loss industry would cease to exist.

16 Comments

  1. Excellent article (blog) and couldn’t agree with you more. Difference is I was given a small container to try by someone who bought into the MLM bullshit. When I was approached, I let this person go one about his experience using the product, emphasizing how he had little appetite, increased energy, no heart palpitations and no insomnia and the pounds were just dropping off. He claimed (when I asked about ingredients) that he brought the product to his doctor and asked if their were any harmful ingredients, and the doctor told him no, implying it was completely safe to consume. Having been around the block a few times over the years with trying “stimulants” to enhance weight loss, I of course was very skeptical. Before receiving the sample, I was immediately emailed links to this MLM (as if I had already jumped on board with), which I never opened. I received the sample and tried a cup this morning. Not only did it not suppress my appetite, but I felt nothing (no increased energy). Now I will note that I’m not looking for massive weight loss. Ten pounds is all I’m looking to lose. I do believe in eating in moderation, exercise and just having the ability to control what you consume. In conclusion, I agree that typical of a MLM product, it’s all hype and the salesperson’s ability to baffle you with the bullshit. I can now go back to this individual and honestly say it did nothing for me. See ya! Buyer beware!

  2. Thank you for sharing this information. I always want to comment to people that are doing this type of weight loss and how harmful it can be…Kudos to you…

  3. After reading the small print( so small you will need a magnifying glass to read it) I learned if you have history of some medical problems, such as, heart, kidney, thyroid, depression and many more, DO NOT TAKE THIS PRODUCT!!

  4. Omg you are so awesome! I just started weight watchers and the only way to diet is to eat clean! These diet dads are a joke and they just want your money! I tried them all! Regular coffee we know is already a diuretic and caffeine is a natural stimulant. I shocked them all when they didn’t know I was in the medical field for 23 years and told them all of the fake ingredients in their products lol you go girl lol

  5. You are my new favorite person! I am bookmarking this review and checking out the rest of your site! You say the things I’m thinking!

  6. Weight gain and loss, metabolism, food addiction–complex topics without simple answers. I appreciate the straightforwardness of this article. Keeping off the 80 lbs I lost through a gastric sleeve is still work. The draw to eat junk is always there. Being chronically overweight is far different from a transient weight gain. There is no simple answer. A friend swears by this “skinny coffee” but I’m not interested. I will be in this battle for life. Every day because it’s worth it. Thank you for your article.

    1. I started a sample and I’m not hungry.
      I lost 2lbs but not eatting much.
      Just 5 day sample,I did feel a little jitter so I split in two doses since I know
      Some coffees do that anyway

  7. Thank you. I thought about using this but changed my mind.
    After all, I’m okay to be overwey.. As long as I am also smart ..
    Getting off those pounds through correct diet and exercise is always the best answer

  8. Haters…I appreciate your knowledge, I have someone at work trying to sell this coffee, and I’ve always been skeptical of Multi level companies! What would we do without research? I never blindly consume a product without it!

  9. I just bought two containers of this product! But now that I’ve read your article, felt just throw $200 dollars for nothing! Actually suffering from gut pains all day and have to go to the washroom like 6 to 8 times a day! Thanks so much for all the information. Will be looking forward to read more of your blogs.

  10. I have say an extremely well written article. It was like a weight loss 101 for dummies. (Totally not calling your article dum, just the polar opposite.) I think pretty much all of what is out on the market for weight loss is crap. I know this first hand because (as sad as it is) I’ve been on weight loss management since HS and that was along time ago. I have been on everything and I mean EVERYTHING, short of any surgical procedures to maintain my weight. I was a bodybuilder for 25+ years and a personal trainer(as my second job) my primary being a nurse. The fact remains, the only way to weight loss or maintaining it, in a healthy and permanent fashion is through diet and exercise (raising your metabolism and cutting your caloric intake). So I can certainly see why their lawyers went after you, they are not used to deal with educated people that have logical brains. (I’m sorry they obviously were unprepared to have their claim of “Logical Solution to weight loss” challenged- lol)
    My situation- Recently I’ve gained a massive amount of weight (up 30lbs in the past year, my daughter as well) So I got sucked back into the dreams that the media is selling on the magic wand to weight loss. (The old Brooklyn bridge theory )
    My sister was taking this stuff and swearing by it, loosing weight, so I purchased some over the internet for the both of us. And here’s the skinny: My sister has lost over 25 lbs where I just seem to keep gaining. So using myself and a lab rat, I have to agree that everything you say is truth. We are both taking it the same way but here’s the difference. My sister works 60 hours a week and is able to get to the gym 2/3x a week. I on the other hand can not work anymore because I take are of my adult disabled daughter, my elderly mom (at times) and I suffer from a bunch of issues like depression, PTS, ADD, and I’m exhausted all the time. My diet isn’t as healthy as it used to be, but I definitely do not sit home shoveling ice cream and chips in my mouth.
    My point being, the reason why this might work for some people and not others is not in the ingredients. It is in the lifestyle of the individual (and other environmental issues) that they are living. Obesity, now comparably an epidemic among us. While society is constantly condemning us for not being perfect, Is what all these types of things are playing on for their get rich quick scam. Hey we’re all just looking for that quick fix. So slap Twiggy(or in this case fancy words) on a label and say weight loss and us fatties will buy it. Most often in the back of our minds, we know it can’t possibly deliver on the claims they make. But still hoping it will. Generally humans are stupidly or easily swayed into believing in, well basically unicorns. We just need that little extra push.
    So for the people that say to you “hey you didn’t try it, so you don’t know”… I DID! Now do I agree that it gives me more energy? Possibly, but not on its own, I take 2 prescription drugs in the Am and perhaps in addition to them, it may. Cut cravings? Nope. Now the focusing part, definitely NOT. Because if I’m not doing something I’m bored and I cannot sit and complete anything successfully. What is “VASO6” anyway? Are they just renaming green tea extract and patenting that name? Well that can trick people into thinking that “Hey this stuff is real” when in fact you can patent anything for like $100. Crap for $50 you can get certified to marry people. The rest of the claims are bogus as well but you’ve broken them down and very nicely I might add, for people to understand simply. Geez the warning label even says it’s not WADA compliant.
    So thank you a terrific review, I’m glad I stumbled upon you today. I look forward to reading more of them. I’m sure I will enjoy them.
    – A new fan-

  11. This product is DANGEROUS. My wife had an apparent heart attack, turning out to be SVT, an electrical misfire in her heart. Her rate went to 188 and stayed there until an ER trip resulted in two injections of Adenozine to correct the problem. There is likely over 350mg of caffeine in one scoop!

  12. I have a friend who is pushing this stuff and my radar went off. So, I was googling to get more info and came across you article. Very well written and confirms my suspicions along with other info I have read on this crap (I can’t even say product). I never had an over-weight problem, but i use to skip meals (unhealthy eating). I fixed this problem with the Optivia program which my daughter & our friend was doing to loose weight. Anyway, she was promoting this coffee and it could fix about everything whether you need it or not. Seems the focus of this scheme is to tell, sell and everyone is going to get rich. I hope folks do their research before they buy!

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